A little shaken, but back on track....

The last two days shook my professional world a little. I have been taken to task by a family of a shy but powerful student in one of my classes saying some fairly incredible things about how I conduct class and communicate with her. My admin, hedging bets, says that she has never seen this behavior in me when observing, but left the door open to believing the family on this one.

Then came the other family sending me a note informing that their child would NOT be taking the test I had planned because she hadn't had time to study. She would make up the test on Thursday. The tone was condescending and while the student tends to be one of the most gracious, I saw a side of this family I had known about.  I have always had great deference towards family wishes in schooling: I don't feel it appropriate for schools to act as policemen on family life, but this note came in hard and poorly written. I let the girl study and catch up on homework. After a while she got bored and came into class to ask for the test, which I gave her. She almost finished it in class. In this instance, while a little frustrated by the tone, I chose the path of least resistance and it all came out well.

Writing about these frustrations have helped. Communicating via Twitter as well. I maintain my disposition of loving schools, loving education and loving my students, even when they can be annoying at times. I told my admin that of all my colleagues, I feel I am the least annoyed adult working at our cozy middle school, judging by how the others talk and act around these kids. But for reasons that confuse me, some students/families and others persist in interpreting me negatively.

I am reminded that education is never a closed, done deal: that each year is a whole new set of successes and challenges. This school year has been an amazing one, in large part due to a renewed sense of self in my profession, this blog and my Twitter based PLN.

This quote sums up my thoughts:

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper 

or your self-confidence.     -Robert Frost

I would just add that we have to forgive ourselves a little if, in the heat of the situation, we do occasionally lose either temper or self-confidence. Just be sure to recover it fast and furiously afterwards.

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Teacher Diary: Summer: YES! School:?

I am 5 days into the summer break. My focus of attention has moved away from grading, lesson planning and reporting to more immediate needs: what will I do with my son today? Funny, but even after 22+ years of teaching, I continue to make amazing plans for how I will spend my summer combining family time into professional growth. But even 5 days into the break I realize that I will not read the 5 books I dutifully carry around from one spot to another in my house. I will not reevaluate my curriculum plan for next year. I will not write long, thoughtful blog entries.

I may, though, continue to read many interesting blogs. I may consider how to change some aspect of my interactions with students to provide more valuable feedback in class. I may also consider what projects I will take on in August when I return to my real working rhythm. 

In meantime, I think I will swim in the pool a little longer and go play basketball with my son.

Teacher Diary: The ABC's of being in the LGBT teacher category

This past Friday was the second social gathering of LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered) teachers in independent schools in the SF Bay area. (We are still struggling to find a name that is not an an even longer acronym).

There were about 15 of us from all over the Bay Area. This was the second meeting after 50+ of us met at the California Association of Independent Schools (CAIS) conference in the fall.

We talked about what we wanted from these meetings. There was a distinct feeling that we all needed a social component of the meetings: a sharing of our stories and experiences as "out" faculty in our schools. But at the same time, we are interested in looking at the current state of affairs of sexual identity diversity at our schools. We want to do this not only for ourselves, but more importantly, for our LGBT students and families we serves. In other words, we want to create the best possible environment for a young person to grow up and be accepted in our society.

Given the recent set back with Proposition 8 and same-sex marriage in California, there is an increased sense of urgency to avoid the complacency that so easily resides with us in the SF Bay Area given the general atmosphere of acceptance that is found here. Even so, we all have stories of push back. 

Personally, I have been an "out" member of all the faculties I have worked with except the American International School in Genoa, Italy. I have been teaching for 23 years. My first year I was closeted only because I was unsure how to navigate issues of identity mixed in with professional ones. But in my second year of teaching I watched a very flamboyant gay teacher not only find acceptance in my school of farm working families, but also a level of affection that was gratifying. But I was working with very young children and felt no inclination to bring up sexual identity (I have since evolved from that point of view, btw).

Fast forward 7 years later and my new job in a San Francisco Spanish immersion school. I was teaching 4/5th grades in the most liberal environment I had every encountered. Even so, I was cautious. Some time in November my principal caught me talking about the "friend" I was living with and she asked me flat out whether he was my boyfriend (no judgement on her part). I said "yes" and from that point on decided that it was advantageous for everyone to know my personal orientation at this school as well.

As could be expected in SFUSD, we were required to teach several lessons a year on LGBT issues. In addition, I had 2-3 students each year from gay families. So I made a habit of explaining to my classes that I was gay and lived with a man. I wanted to normalize it and in fact, that was what happened. 

When gay marriage became a possibility in San Francisco a few years ago, my partner (now and still legal "husband") was standing in line in the rain at City Hall to get the marriage license while I was working. He called me around lunch to tell me to get downtown because we were going to make it on time. I went to tell the principal (a different person) and a co-teacher that I would be going down and could they cover my class. They were in the cafeteria with 120+ 3-5 graders, some of who over heard my conversation. Some of the kids stood up and announced it to their peers and the cafeteria burst out in applause. (this is the liberal, accepting environment I live in, eh?)

I am not an activist, although I wish I had that personality trait. I find it interesting and a little concerning that after 23 years of teaching, it is just now that I feel the need for the affirming environment of the LGBT teachers group. I feel our society is on the crux of near universal acceptance of gays and lesbians as full fledged members and I want to be sure I am a part of the positive change.

I have done little more in my career other than strive to be a correct role model as an "out" faculty and teacher. I suspect that this model has helped "normalize" gay identity at least for some people. While I wish I had done more, I am happy with "setting the example".